Rhythm of Life…

Starting again…

I began a new sweater pattern, and I’ve already had to restart it five times due to misreading the instructions. Sometimes directions are as clear as mud… Or rather, what I understand isn’t what was intended — which inevitably makes a mess. Knitters know there are times you can simply work mistakes into the weave of a piece with a little creativity (this can give the final product a unique flair of its own), and then there are times when the only way to avoid a useless mess is to “frog” it back to where the mistake occurred, or simply drop the project entirely.

Life isn’t as straightforward as knitting — but knitting is good practice for the persistence we need to keep going. There’s powerful lessons about life in any creative process… Still, what do we do when circumstances occur that are out of our hands? When others make decisions that effect our options? When chaos intervenes and turns our life symphony into cacophony? What do we do when the next day just keeps coming… the sun sets at the end of one long day, and then rises again to dawn another — but we are forced to carry the night’s darkness with us no matter how many times the sun rises? Be gentle with your fellow earth-riders — you can’t always see the dark path they are walking.

Like knitting, life has a rhythm — the steady passing of moments running into each other, and yet always simply “now”. The changing of the calendar with the seasons — a blend of nature’s steady pace with humanity’s constant measuring of it… minutes, hours, days… months, years, decades. We number our moments while this globe we ride on just keeps spinning. We say our prayers, we do our best… we live through the chaos and catastrophe that comes, as well as the moments that hopefully make it all worthwhile — fingers of sunlight passing through the trees – shadows dancing with the wind, silken kitten fur beneath your hand, a babies sigh in their sleep, the soft sound of a gentle rain, the roaring breath of the sea and the silence of the river slipping towards her… Golden moments and “thin” spaces when our Now touches Eternity…

But life is hard — be tender with each other…


#thinplaces
#knittinglife

New Perspectives…

The summer is coming to an end. The days are shorter and the nights are growing longer…

This past Sunday afternoon, my bookend-sister wanted to show me the walk along the other side of the river — and we were pleasantly surprised to see how far Autumn had advanced over there. The river’s cliff-side near my childhood home I know like the smile of a close friend – but it’s really not the most common one to visit – the other side that brushes up against the town of Estacada itself is the one most people know. There are benches and picnic tables to accommodate visitors, and there’s even a beautiful dock to aid in the enjoyment of the river. It’s the side that many of the kids I grew up with are likely to think of when they think about hike-walking along the river during their youth.
It’s a little funny to admit that I’ve spent so much of my life here, but I’ve never actually explored  that side before…  I was surprised at how it gave me an entirely different view of the river that I know so well.   The air was still heavy with the scent of the river and warm earth, but also carried the evidence of town – like the aroma of someone having an end-of-summer Sunday Barbecue, and the hum of the nearby highway. The river itself seemed so different from that side that it almost felt foreign…

Dock in Estacada on the Clackamas River

It’s funny how so much of the view of Life’s path depends on the perspective you have as you are walking it. Every once in awhile – after climbing a particularly steep leg of the journey – sometimes you can turn around and get a different view of where you’ve been…  it can be eye-opening to see things from a new viewpoint.

The Clackamas River from the North side

Lately, I have found myself at one of these points — only it has re-viewed a huge portion of this life I’ve been living, and so much of it appears very different from this new perspective than it was while I was walking through it.  So much of our Reality is shaped by our perspectives  — I’ve found mine has suddenly been turned inside-out and upside-down.  It’s like I’m suddenly living in a new world, but even in this world much remains the same — tomorrow keeps coming. I just desperately need to get my bearings…

Be gentle new world – I’m weary from this journey…

It’s all Grace.

Sunsets and Birdsong Dawns…

Clackamas River Sunset

Life has thrown another curve… It does that.

I’m not entirely sure what I’ll find after I turn the corner, but for now I’m walking slowly along the path in no real hurry to get around the bend. I have spent this last week or so in my childhood home while working on my Finals for this term — this curve in life forced me to fall way behind in my classwork and I needed some help with the boys so I could get everything caught up and finished before the term ended. Somehow I’ve managed to catch up with everything despite all my current life drama…

While here my “baby” sister and I have had the opportunity to go for evening walks together — the boys have grandparents to help if someone takes a fall — I can be away for an extended period of time without worrying. This means that there has been a period of unexpected Rest in the midst of this chaos. Being with family – it’s easier to get up in the morning, easier to remember to eat, easier to sleep… I’m not spending my nights right now dreading the waking of another day…

Out walking with my sister in the evenings gives me the chance to just breathe, and hiking along the river in all its familiarity, it’s easy to remember who I am. The beauty that shaped me is still here — sunset skies above the river and birdsong filling the dawn. The air here at my childhood home by the river I know so well – it still smells like the late summers of my girlhood — like sun-warmed berries and dry grass, heavy with the weight of the heat and the scent of the river… Summer’s end hangs in the air as the days shorten and we all feel the coming autumn looming despite the present heatwave. I miss the sea – the sound of her breathing tides and her scent in the air – but I am so grateful to be here right now…

Life is hard — I hope you all can find Beauty when you’re travelling your own rocky path… Remember we’re all on this journey together – stay soft with each other…

  • #rememberingme
  • #childhoodforests
  • #viewfromthewaterfall
  • #clackamasriver
  • #sunsetsandbirdsongdawns

Surprise and Storm…

A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh

This box set arrived today… Four books-in-a-box, waiting in my mailbox, until I discovered them after choir practice this evening. I had no idea they would arrive so quickly — it’s as if they knew how bumpy my day was today and arrived early to make me smile.

I spent a good portion of Saturday hunting for this boxed set that I already own — but it seems to have been lost in the last move. It felt so wrong to not have these poems and stories here, I had to break down and order another set (which thankfully I found for half off). This is officially my third set — A. A. Milne, what would I do without the smiles and memories your words bring? These books have been a part of me for so long — I was so little when I first read them… it’s such a comfort just to see their covers (and yes, I’ve already been reading them)!

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This past weekend I had family visit for the first time in a long time… I discovered that I have no trouble behaving like a normal thrilled person if I know loved ones are coming and I have been preparing to see them all week — but it turns out if someone dear to my heart that I haven’t seen in many months surprises me — I scream and almost collapse on the floor, then run and grab them and sob on their shoulder like I’ll never let them go…  It was good there was only one surprise person — one more and I might have had a heart-attack… :)(I had this same reaction years ago to a loved-one-surprise, apparently time doesn’t change everything.)

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But, I feel like there have been so many tears in the past few days… We all grow weary when the world is heavy, and the world is much heavier when there’s no one to share its weight. It was so good to see family… they are all far away — there’s little they can do to lighten life’s load — and yet what is done can make such a difference… I’m not invisible. When I hear the roar of the sea – when she is marbled gray and white, and the wind of her breath whips my hair around my face with a coming storm – then I may feel the storm within, but I’m not facing it as alone as it seems… let the tears fall in defiance.

Still, may gentle seas come soon for us all…

#lifestorms
#poohbear
#AAMilne

Equilibrium

“.

John O’Donahue… “Equilibrium”

It has been a long, exhausting week. The next two days are supposed to be days of rest — but I have a lot to do. I’m trying to keep things in balance…  but I think I need an extra day in the week, or maybe another four or five hours each day? The tears came again today while driving home from an overwhelming trip to the store — simple things are harder than they should be…

Tonight my mind was too spent to work on my Shakespeare class, so in-between putting in the new thermostat, playing piano for evening mass, and my life coach appt in the afternoon – tomorrow will be all about Shakespeare.  I really hope the thermostat doesn’t take too long…

Life seems to have me constantly on the go right now — where is the pause button?
I opened to O’Donahue’s “Equilibrium” tonight and stole a few moments to savor his shared-thoughts — his words never cease to echo like a tuning fork — ringing a pure tone for my internal life.
I love how this particular poem opens and closes with a laughter blessing…
‘Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough
To hear in the depths the laughter of God.’

May we all hear the echo of laughter in life’s depths… Joy is not bound by the shores of our circumstances.
May we find Peace and Rest — Equilibrium…

Be kind out there fellow Earth-riders — we’re all just trying to keep our balance as we spin around the sun.

#earthriding
#equilibrium
#JohnODonahue
#blessings