Transfiguration Morning…

Blued-eyed sky and Sunlight

There is Peace here.
This morning the sky is blued-eyed — cloudless and bright…  sunlight has clothed the wetland wood across my gravel road and every green hue is alive with  its touch.
It is an August morning — the Feast of the Transfiguration — and my world awoke to this quiet beauty — the breathing of the sea-tides echoing in my chest… the rise and fall of my own rhythm — my heart keeping the beat.

I am sitting in this Quiet.
There are dishes waiting in my sink — remnants of a quick dinner before writing my paper that was due at midnight… they have been patient and will soon be clean again, but they are quiet as they wait.
The boys have had their morning meds with breakfast, the cats are resting from their nocturnal play…
In this moment nothing is clamoring for my attention.

I can feel this new day washing over my corner of the world — what is this magic that keeps us spinning through time — ever forward, ever onward? Is it this Quiet – this Foundation-of-Everything holding us all together? It is holding me here — cradling us all, just waiting to be recognized… to be known.

“If today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts.”

Inside, we’re all longing to be mystics — longing to know and be known — to sit in the Silence of ourselves surrounded by the bustle and noise of living. We’re all yearning for connection — to have Light clothe us in our innate hues and reveal our beauty to the world. Can’t you see the brightness of summer’s-light in the eyes of those around you? We’re all seeking Communion… Be gentle in your gaze — soft, compassionate eyes are the key to sight here.  Be kind, and See.

“Be still, and know…”




John O’Donahue… “Equilibrium”

It has been a long, exhausting week. The next two days are supposed to be days of rest — but I have a lot to do. I’m trying to keep things in balance…  but I think I need an extra day in the week, or maybe another four or five hours each day? The tears came again today while driving home from an overwhelming trip to the store — simple things are harder than they should be…

Tonight my mind was too spent to work on my Shakespeare class, so in-between putting in the new thermostat, playing piano for evening mass, and my life coach appt in the afternoon – tomorrow will be all about Shakespeare.  I really hope the thermostat doesn’t take too long…

Life seems to have me constantly on the go right now — where is the pause button?
I opened to O’Donahue’s “Equilibrium” tonight and stole a few moments to savor his shared-thoughts — his words never cease to echo like a tuning fork — ringing a pure tone for my internal life.
I love how this particular poem opens and closes with a laughter blessing…
‘Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough
To hear in the depths the laughter of God.’

May we all hear the echo of laughter in life’s depths… Joy is not bound by the shores of our circumstances.
May we find Peace and Rest — Equilibrium…

Be kind out there fellow Earth-riders — we’re all just trying to keep our balance as we spin around the sun.


America the Beautiful…

The Sea at St. Mary’s-by-the-Sea after Sunday Mass

The sanctuary was packed at St. Mary’s by the Sea this morning. Our small town has been inundated with visitors for the 4th of July holiday weekend, which means our Masses were full… It was like playing piano for an army — every voice raised in song together… so intense.
We  sang America the Beautiful as our closing song — every verse at the top of our lungs —  with spontaneous applause at the end and happy murmurs echoing among the crowd as they began to make their way outside. It wasn’t necessarily the song itself — it was the fact that everyone knew it well from their childhood, and everyone felt the joy of an entire building singing together… that connection…

Outside the sunlight was blinding, and everything it touched felt bright and beautiful — the faces of strangers, the grasses on the knoll above the beach, the waves in their retreat at low tide… the statue of Mary overlooking us all as a mother does… And myself – still trembling with the leftover adrenaline from the intensity of playing for everyone to sing — my heart still racing with the fullness of it all.

Our world can often seem full of darkness — but then, there are moments that remind us there is so much Beauty here — this world is truly charged with Glory… each person lit with Life – shining with the Love they were created to be… to know… to give… 
I’m afraid so many of us are missing the point — missing the mark… there really is no room for anything but Love in our interactions with others. We were made to bring Peace.

Be kind — it’s All Grace.

“O Strength in the flight of the heron,
Joy in the song of the lark,
Peace in the mists of the morning,
And Light in the leaves of the Park!
Everywhere shineth Thy Beauty,
Yet everywhere only in part –
Come, Holy Spirit, I pray Thee,
And dwell with Thy Flame in my heart!”
John Bradburne, Angelus (1958) [547]

To Be

Twin Rocks and Sunset at St. Mary’s-by-the-Sea

There was a beautiful sunset last night when I went to St. Mary’s for choir practice. I stepped out of the car and just had to stop to breathe it in for a few moments…

Such a soft light … the scent of sea … its roaring rhythm echoing in my chest…

I have to admit – I am not very good at this embodied existence. I have been living with and in this body for about half a lifetime now, and I still forget it. I forget to treat myself well and take it so much for granted — even after spending a decade with it weak and frail after the stroke… You would think I would have learned a deep appreciation for how far it has carried me. But I still move awkwardly with it through this world — I can’t seem to get ahold of this “being human” thing …

But when these eyes of mine see such light, and my chest moves with the rhythm of the sea — my cheeks bit by its wind — for one fleeting moment I feel my own true presence here…

To be.

So when I see my reflection in a mirror – or look down at the strangeness of this flesh and bone that becomes so weary — that seems at once ugly and beautiful — and have no recognition of the shapes I see… When I feel so separate from this corporal existence as I normally do — so much more a thought than a self — at least I am able to catch that self in brief moments… as when the sun sets into the sea and it dances with the wind in the sand.

When this spinning world seems to pause in Time — it’s only then I am able to catch a glimpse of myself. Perhaps that is what the mystics know all the time… their true selves present in the True Light. To be human is to be the fullness of spirit, soul, and body — complete and balanced in one being. I hope I figure it out before I’m done…

Be kind — we’re all just trying to be human.


Soft Eyes and Heavy Souls


Jasper spends much of the day by my side or in my lap right now. Our Dante kitty passed away just before Christmas and Jasper has never been an only cat before…

We are all grieving…

He will come to my feet and say, “Mama,” then reach up and tap my arm if I don’t respond before he jumps in my lap to curl up. Mind you if I initiated this routine I would be promptly met with his snapdragon response… Touch is only on his terms (he’s a cat after all). He is either angry, or needing reassurance right now. Poor little soul.

We are planning to bring a young girl kitty home next weekend. (She was supposed to join us last weekend but black ice and a broken wheel led to a rescheduling and un-looked-for early morning adventure.) The Philosopher has fallen in love with her fluffy black fur, and we’re hoping she will soothe our heartache while carving out her own heart-space…

Grief comes in many forms — the weight of a grief cannot be compared from soul to soul or loss to loss. Grief, like Love, cannot be measured or compared… It simply is.

It’s in the constant thought that the lost presence was just seen out of the corner of your eye – sitting in their proper place – present, known – and the hole renewed when the full glance reveals the empty space. It’s in the echo of the sounds they no longer make and all the shadows they left behind. We are all carrying the weight of our losses – the burden growing as the years pass and losses increase. Be kind.
Be gentle with each other… look with soft eyes.

Every soul is bearing a heavy weight of its own… even our little Jasper.