The past couple of days I’ve been thinking a lot about is Myers-Briggs personality types. Actually, this isn’t that random since my hubby and I have been playing with our personality types together lately. We have been married almost 19 years – in fact, our 19th anniversary is just a few weeks away now – and yet we still enjoying learning about each other. The human personality is so in-depth and varied, it takes a lifetime to really get to know someone, and we’re enjoying the journey as we grow together through the decades. My hubby is an ENFP — extroverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving — actually a fairly rare personality type in the world as a whole, they make up only 7% of the population. Of course, we seem to see them everywhere because they are the ones who are often on tv – the people who stand out in a crowd and get other people motivated to do things. On the other hand, I am an INFJ — introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging — the most rare personality type of all at less than 1% of the population. Online we seem to be everywhere, mostly because we are writers, we are the ones who want to make a difference — but preferably from behind a screen or some other “behind the scenes” situation. :) The fact that the two of us found each other as far as personality types goes — it makes us a pretty rare pair — though since we’re so good at balancing each other I’m sure there are others like us out there.

Together we compliment each other really well, as long as we keep the lines of communication wide open. I have to be sure to make an effort to use my voice, and he has to remember that I have one! :) Luckily, ENFP’s naturally want to know how others think and feel, so it isn’t hard for him to check in with me regularly. Our mutual ability to be intuitive about situations and people helps a lot in our relationship, but also helps us maneuver life’s challenges together — usually on the same page. Where other people might want us to explain more details about why a decision is right for us, we both simply know it, with much of the decision making process happening under the surface. I actually can’t think of a single instance in the past 20 years of knowing each other where we came to different conclusions on the solution to a problem or difficult situation. Which means our “arguments” are fairly rare, and mostly end up giving us a case of the giggles before they’re over. Having someone around who “speaks” my intuitive language helps me out a lot as the introvert in the relationship. I can have a hard time finding the words I need to express what I’m trying to say verbally — very rarely a problem when I’m writing — and the more emotional I am about something the more I need time to process it before I talk about it… As an ENFP my hubby is able to intuitively understand a lot of my emotional state, even if he doesn’t know what put me in it — which can be a big help.

The one issue we really can’t get around is our opposite response to social situations. While we both enjoy being around people, I absolutely have to plan my energy levels around the fact that social gatherings are exhausting for me. As an introvert, I require a lot of down time or alone time to recover from socializing (or simply leaving the house at all!), but as an extrovert my hubby absolutely must have interaction with others in order to keep his mind and body on an even keel. Too many days at home and my hubby begins to start having problems with depression and listlessness — not to mention extreme boredom! On the other hand, too many days in a row leaving the house can send me into a state of complete physical exhaustion. I have to manage my daily schedule very carefully, especially since I’ve had serious health issues with Dysautonomia in the past so I have to watch myself in ways many others don’t even have to think about. Respecting our differences is part and parcel of nurturing our relationship, and something that we’re still learning about after all these years together. Playing to each others strengths and bolstering each others weaknesses helps us both grow in our relationship and as individuals. I encourage his dreams and help him make steps to attain them, and he does the same for me…

Together we take whatever we meet on this path of life and deal with it as a team. We endure our struggles and enjoy our successes as one — and we come out on top, even when it looks like the ground has disappeared from underneath us. As long as we have each other — someone has our back, and that’s what everyone wants. We have everything we need. Now we just need to go out and make a positive impact on the lives around us — a particular goal of both ENFPs and INFJs… yet again another thing these opposites have in common! :)

For us ENFP + INFJ = LOVE :)


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